do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
