I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
