how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
