Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
