She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
