You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if i died would you start the facebook group?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
