Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
