I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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