Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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