Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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