i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
