"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i think my cat just said my name.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
