is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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