i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
