We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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