if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
