sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
