She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
