using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wish you could order shots online.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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