glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
