I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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