her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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