Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
