Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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