just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
