so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
