I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
