I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Drake has all the answers
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
