if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
