whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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