Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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