is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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