Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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