I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
