She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
