I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
