so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
