from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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