Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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