This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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