there's paper in my vomit.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
