CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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