i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
These tits shall not be calmed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
