It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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