I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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