he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
