I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
