Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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