Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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