flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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