I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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