Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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