Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
