playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
