The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
